Thursday, June 30, 2011

Serena's Cape

This is a story of epic proportions, a mythical historical drama, featuring a powerful evil villian and an heroic female protagonist who thwarts him, with a smile and great attitude, and a single sentence. All of this in 175 words. I hope you enjoy. ~Mike

"Forgive me mistress, but you must know you'll die if he finds out. We all will!"

Serena continued weaving, eyes and hands steady. She looked only at her work and remained silent in the face of her servant's entreaty. Then she said, as she had said the day before and the day before that, "You've distracted me, Melanie. Now I've found a mistake. I must tear out this day's work and start again."

As her mistress began tearing out thread after thread, Melanie ran from the chamber, weeping.

The next day, the lord master of the realm arrived with his vast army. He came immediately to Serena's chamber, accompanied by the still weeping Melanie.

"What? Not finished? When will you deliver me my Impervious Cape?" Rage and impatience flamed up in his eyes. "I return to battle this day. I must have it!"

Serena looked up at him with a grim smile. "You've distracted me, your Lordship. You've caused me to make a mistake. I must tear out this day's work and start again."


  1. Very intriguing, left me wanting to read more!

  2. Poke; Poke. Hopefully, I've distracted Serena again. This has a fun fairy-tale feel to it.

  3. There is a nice cyclical, circular rhythm to this. It does have a fairy tale vibe, and it feels a little like it's missing a moral, but I like it.

    On re-reading, is the point that she -can't- make an impervious cape and just looks for excuses to not finish it?

    Either way, well-written, and I like a flash that makes me ponder. =)

  4. Count me in on the charmed. I don't need more, though would read a lot of it. The period-feel of the prose rather than an established setting was the big aspect for me.

  5. Naturally, what I might have meant her intention to be counts less than what you the reader imagines her intentions to be. But for what it's worth, Serena's grim smile means she has no intention of creating a protective cape for this warlord. She means for him to perish, even if it costs her her life.

    Thanks for reading, John and John. Glad you found it fun.

  6. A great little fairytale. Glad I found your blog!

  7. Oh wow. This was hilarious! I don't know if I want more simply out of curiosity or because I'm a selfish person. This is a great example of how short a story can be. Most excellent! :D

  8. Damyanti and NCM, I'm glad you found and read too! Cheers.